So rather than sleep this evening I have decided to deposit a few random thoughts/opinions herein that have been plaguing my brain for the last 30 minutes or so. A bit of explanation is due first I think. For the most part I am okay with the way things are in my life. I have a BA in a degree that is only good for writing and teaching. This could be better if I was actively writing or had a teaching certification… but hey, you know what? I'm educated. I have a job where I thoroughly enjoy my coworkers and a percentage of the customers. I have been working on a project that I am passionate about and if all goes well will bring me a career that I can both love and be proud of. I have really amazing friends and family that I know have my back and are either rocking out with me from time to time or looking on in mild amusement. I am back to living with the family, it sucks but it is unavoidable for the time being and I am working on attaining the money to be able to move. At this time of the night my brain seems to enjoy bounding back to the idea of romantic relationships. I am not going to bore you with my theories and postulations as to WHY I am single, or expound on my feelings in this regard. That is something that I consider livejournal fare and I would rather not whine about it on here. I learned long ago that most people don't actually want to be subjected to that unless they specifically ask… or I have been drinking and the general mood is that of somberness and melancholia. As such the following is not about me, but just some ideas I think should be common if they aren't. They are things that I wish that I had realized back when I was in high school.
Anyhow the point I have been dancing around until now is my ideas concerning certain standard terms of dating. In this case I am referring to the notion of someone being "out of one's league". There was also like two other things I was going to ramble about but I managed to forget them while writing that tangent-laden intro and reading someone else's blog. The idea of "leagues" and the subsequent location of a person relative to said league is bullshit. At a certain time in our lives, I like to hope most of us come to this conclusion. If you haven't yet, then you have my condolences. It doesn't matter how physically different two people are, so long as there is confidence. A bigger guy or girl might avoid asking out someone that they have a crush on because they think their feelings couldn't possibly be requited by someone so pretty. Maybe they aren't big, maybe they just consider themselves to be outside the societal representation of acceptable beauty. If they are confident, then it doesn't matter. That is why in all those shitty teen movies you see the "loser" overcome their failings and get their desired person by the end of the movie. Admittedly this isn't always the case as sometime people are just shallow assholes, but they aren't really worth being with anyway. Everyone who reinforces the idea of "leagues" more often than not is just another person who lacks self-confidence. This was an idea that I had sort of formed in high school, but given my high school naiveté and lack of confidence I usually just listened when people spoke of "leagues". I think one of the other things I was going to rant about was along the same vein. A person's "type", which is pretty closely associated with "leagues". Our "types" are not defined by our appearance. We are not in control of whom we are attracted to. This is not to say that we are attracted to the same sort of person our entire lives. As we age the things we like change and attractions evolve. Another fairly common assessment I hope. I am certainly not as attracted to the same sort of women I used to be, just as I am sure you are not attracted to the same sort of person you used to be.
This is not to say ask out just anyone or accept just any date offer. If you like someone and want to ask them out, grit your teeth and be confident. In the grand scheme, you don't have anything to lose and everything to gain. If someone asks you out and they aren't necessarily the sort of person you would normally go out with, give em a chance anyhow. One date won't kill you and you might wind up really liking them. It could be time for your tastes to change, and you might regret the missed experience of trying something new. Depending on how you look at it, life is a series of experiences. Why not get the most out of it?
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